It seems that some people are just never single. You know, that person who gets out of a relationship then three weeks later has already found someone else. They are always in some kind of relationship with someone. I like to call these people “relationship junkies.” What causes people to act this way though? What makes a relationship a “necessity” for them? As someone who’s been there, the answer is quite clear.
|the root of the junkie|
When a person feels the need to always be in a relationship, when someone cannot stand to be single, the primary reason is insecurity. A co-worker of mine, who I will call “Amy,” admitted to me that she would rather be miserable in a relationship than be single. She explained that she desired to always feel needed by someone. Amy even went so far to state that she would date a guy even if she knew it would never go anywhere. She would let him fill her “void” until someone new, or better in her opinion, came along.
Everyone likes to feel needed, but is bouncing from relationship to relationship the right way to fulfill this impulse? I don’t think there is anyone who does not have some kind of insecurity. You will never overcome that insecurity if you continue in an attempt to cover it up and pretend it’s not there. No guy or girl in the world can make it go away; it starts and ends with you.
|what’s the big deal?|
There are people who would argue that there is no problem with being in a multitude of relationships. It’s all “fun and games.” Right….I don’t think so. There are two main problems with the relationship junkie lifestyle. First off, you are setting yourself up for a lot of heartbreak and no time to cope with it. I have met people who have been in two year relationships then a week after it has ended they are already pursuing someone else. I understand that no one wants to focus on or think about the gloominess that can follow a break up, but jumping to a new person is not a healthy distraction. If you come to someone with a broken heart expecting them to mend it, don’t expect that relationship to last long. Take the time to heal and get your mind clear. Secondly, if you are going from guy to guy, girl to girl, whatever, where are your standards? What are your judgements? Living a life without standards will set you up for a lot of failed relationships and regrets, and it will never lead you to the person you are truly supposed to be with.
|rules to live by|
Rule #1 – Learn to say no.
Despite somewhat popular belief, you do not have to say “yes” to every person who asks you out. You have to be honest with both yourself and the other person. Do not rush to be in a relationship.
Rule #2 – Don’t base your value off of your relationship status.
This tends to apply more to ladies than it does to guys. Ladies: You are beautiful. You can have guys tell you that left and right but it will never be enough if you do not believe it yourself. Stop looking down on yourself or despising the way you look. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-16).
Rule #3 – Set standards and stick to them.
Solid standards will lead you to a solid relationship.
Boundaries are vital. Never settle. Never.
Rule #4 – Don’t jump in the water if you don’t know how to swim.
Ladies: Have your self-esteem in check before you get into a serious dating relationship. No guy wants a girl who constantly puts herself down.
Guys: Do not get into a relationship if you aren’t ready to properly lead. You have to step it up.
|the challenge|
My challenge to you is this: Do not be overpowered by your insecurities. Take relationships seriously. Never fall into the unhealthy lifestyle of the relationship junkie. You deserve better than that.
it'sheatherchristine 