love & lust |my mini rant|

I am sure everyone has heard someone say “It was love at first sight!” I’m sorry, what?! You mean to tell me that from the moment that you saw that “special someone” you were literally immediately in love with them? How is that possible? Now you have to understand, I’m not talking about a mother who just had a baby and says this. I’m talking about couples who claim that instead of falling in love, they were hit with it the moment they laid eyes on each other. Every single time I have heard someone say this I cannot help but laugh.

|what’s love again?|
Love. Let’s talk about this. I’ve already written on what love truly is (little four letter word). But perhaps I need to elaborate on how it works. Love isn’t instant. It’s a process. How can you say you love someone when you don’t know anything about them? You don’t know their strengths, their weaknesses, their goals, their passions, or even their favorite food! You may like the way a person looks, but you cannot say you truly love them when you only know little about them, if anything at all. Unless you can tell a person’s character and life story from just one look, then you cannot claim to love them at first sight.

|so what is this feeling?|
Love is when you get to know a person, when you learn their character traits, their strengths and weaknesses, their zeal, and you love and accept all of them. Love is a deep affection for someone whom you cannot imagine life without. But, love doesn’t stop there. It’s not merely a feeling. Love is an action. It’s putting someone else before yourself. It’s being willing to put your life on the line for another person. Love is doing all that is in your power to let someone know that you truly care for them. Love is a process, so what is this “at first sight” stuff all about?

|lust lust lust|
Allow me to introduce you to a little thing called lust. Let’s say you see a guy, see a girl, and instantly you want to know them in a different way. You want to be with them. Love at first sight, right? Yeah right. Welcome to the feeling of lust my friends. Lust is a passionate desire for something/someone. Some would simply label it as a strong sexual desire (dictionary).

|so what’s the big deal?|
Lust is so far from love. Because of this, it is something that must be controlled. Do not give in to lustful desires (1 John 2:16; Colossians 3:5). If you are really interested in someone, then get to know them and see if something grows from it. But don’t try to rush things because of a desire. It won’t end well. Lust will not lead you to happiness.

|the challenge|
My challenge to you is this: Make sure you know someone before making love claims. Do not ever give in to any lustful desire. You are stronger than that.

Now, enough of my ranting. Time for a video!

little four letter word.

There is one word that can turn someones day around. One word that could change things completely. This one four letter word has so much power in it. Well, at least it used to. Now, the meaning of love has began to dwindle away. It’s used so often in so many wrong ways that now it’s just another average word. “I love you” is a phrase that is thrown around far too often. What does it even mean anymore?

|the poorly portrayed picture|
About a month ago I was at a family party. My fifteen year old cousin came in and mentioned that he had a girlfriend now. When I asked what she was like, his response was “blonde and hot.” One of my other cousins jokingly asked him, “Are you in love?” My jaw about hit the floor when he said yes. He is fifteen, they had been dating for two weeks at the time, and he could not tell me anything about her other than the fact that she is supposedly “blonde” and “hot.” I asked how he knew he loved her, and he just gave me a blank stare then responded, “I don’t know. It’s what you’re supposed to say when you’re in a relationship, right?” (Wrong). Sadly, I cannot really lecture my cousin for thinking this way (even though I tried to), because this is the picture that society has painted for him. All of a sudden just having an “in a relationship” status qualifies two people to be in love with each other.

A fellow colleague of mine, whom I will call “Tom”, is a professional relationship junkie. It seems that he is never single; he always has a “significant other.” Back around September, Tom began dating this young lady. He said he loved her. She said she loved him. They both had the cute lovey dovey online comments about each other and took a million pictures. Everyone’s happy, right? Well, apparently not. They broke up in November and were both in a different relationship two weeks later. What happened to the “love?”

Is this really what society has come to? Are there no standards set to determine when two people are “in love” other than just having a “relationship” title? If so, then I don’t ever want a person to tell me “I love you.” If it’s been said to a multitude of other people from other relationships, what makes it so special? We have such a twisted view of what love truly is.

|the real deal|
This leads to the question: what is love? Not what is the messed up society definition of love, but what is the true, deep value that this word was meant to have? Dictionaries have multiple definitions, but I choose to define the pure meaning of love from a passage in the Bible.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails |1 Corinthians 13:4-8a|

Some people overlook this as “just another Bible verse.” But when you break it down, this passage paints the perfect picture of what love is. Here is a way of looking at it:

Love is when you are understanding. You are not too proud to admit that it is not all about yourself. You put the other person first, never doing anything for your own personal gain. You do not hold grudges with each other. You never raise your hand in anger or frustration. You give your full support and always keep the others best interest at heart. There is no room for jealousy because the trust is so strong. When times are rough, you find hope in knowing you have each other. Finally, nothing, absolutely nothing, can ever tear you apart. There is nothing too big that you cannot get through together.

If people would just begin to think of love in this way. If love could become a word that had a true, tangible meaning behind it, not just a word to get what you want from someone. If society could learn how precious the phrase “I love you is”, how powerful the word “love” itself is, then we would see a drastic change in the world.

|the challenge|
My challenge to you is this: watch what you say and say what you mean. Do not conform to the worldly interpretation of love, but instead discover the strength that true love really holds.

|p.s.|
Those of you who know Matt Swaringim (or those of you who don’t) might enjoy this. (: